10 Tips for Moving On After a Divorce
Moving on with life after divorce may seem impossible. The pain and grief you feel over losing your marriage might make you feel like you are stuck. Every day might seem difficult to get through at first, but eventually, you will find a new normal and a life you love. While it can be hard to imagine living a new life, there are ways to make moving on with life after divorce easier.
For 10 practical tips on how to handle your life post-divorce, keep reading.
Ensure Your Finances Are In Order
If you have hired a divorce attorney, chances are they have advised you to consult with financial professionals, like a tax accountant, to fully assess your financial situation. Even if you kept your finances separate from your spouse, there is the matter of shared property, investments, real estate, childcare expenses, and more.
If you did share accounts, one of the first things you will want to do is cancel any joint accounts and open new accounts in your name only. This does not just include bank accounts and savings accounts, but also credit cards, utility bills, and any other accounts that had both of your names on them. Running a credit check to find out what your score is if you do not already know is a good idea so you have a clear picture of what your creditworthiness is.
With only one income for the time being, moving on with life after divorce will be much easier if you start an emergency fund and save as much as you can in the event of unforeseen circumstances. Additionally, you might want to hire a financial planner or a financial team to help you tailor a budget that will help you reach your financial goals.
Splurge on Something You’ll Use
When moving on with life after divorce, you want to make sure you are being careful with your finances, but there can be an occasional splurge. It might seem counterintuitive because spending money is often considered the enemy when carefully budgeting, but there are ways that you can splurge in a smart way.
Before going on a shopping spree for useless items that will make you feel better temporarily, consider one big purchase you could make that will bring you long-term use and joy. If you are in the market for a new car, visit your local SUV dealer and pick out a car that fits your budget and your new lifestyle. If you are in need of a new place to live, get in touch with a real estate agent to find out what your options are and invest in a new home or apartment.
There are a few more tips to keep in mind that will help you splurge wisely. The first is to delay the splurge. Even if you find the car of your dreams, take a step back before completing the purchase. Compare prices, look for specials, and find yourself the best deal possible. No matter what you decide to splurge on, do your research, consider your return on investment, and buy for quality rather than quantity.
Store Emotional Keepsakes Outside Your Home
When you first get divorced, you may feel like throwing out everything related to your marriage. Whether you want to toss your wedding album, the comforter you painstakingly picked out together, or a collection of music you amassed together, it might be a good idea to hit pause before dumping everything immediately. You may find you want the items at a later date, but it can be painful to see a daily reminder of your loss.
Rather than throwing everything away, pack up the items that you do not want to see on a daily basis and get in touch with a self storage company. Keeping these emotionally triggering items in a storage facility gives you the option to heal yourself in the short-term without regretting not having items you wish you had kept long-term.
Find a New Hobby
Think about something you have always been interested in. Maybe you used to dream about taking a painting class or you always wanted to learn how to sail. Whatever you are interested in, now is the time to act on your interest.
Following a divorce, you might not feel like meeting or interacting with new people, and that is okay, but pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be beneficial. Your hobby does not have to cost you tons of money, and it does not have to take up a ton of time. Just the act of experiencing something new can be a great reminder that there is life outside your past. Keeping yourself busy while moving on with life after divorce can be a helpful and necessary distraction.
Consider Your Next Career Move
Divorce is a significant life change, and it can be an event that makes you reconsider your entire situation. It can feel scary to take the next step in your career because you know that this time you will be taking that step by yourself. Whether you have been staying at home with your children and need to go back to work, or you want to make a career move, a staffing agency can help you find a position if you are not quite sure what you want to do career-wise while moving on with life after divorce.
Before you do anything, including contacting an agency, brush up your resume. Make sure you have all of your information updated and that your skills, experience, and education are all outlined. Next, think about what you really want to do. Maybe you have always loved to write, but you never thought you could make your passion a career. Getting in touch with a staffing agency can help guide you towards careers you may not have known existed, like a search engine optimization content writer.
The other benefit to working with a staffing agency is that they understand the current job market. If it has been a while since you last looked for a new job, you might not be sure what skills are most marketable. A staffing agency can help you determine what skills and experience you have that you should be sure to emphasize to potential employers.
Reach Out to Friends and Family for Support During Difficult Times
When moving on with life after divorce, it can be hard to reach out to friends and family. It can be hard to accept help, especially if you feel like you might be a burden to your loved ones. But would you hesitate to reach out for help planning a funeral service for a family member?
You will need to take time to mourn the loss of your marriage while considering how to move forward with your next chapter of life. Your family and friends love you and want to support you during this hard time of adjustment. Reaching out to them and letting them be there to surround you with positivity is one of the best ways of moving on with life after divorce.
Consider Improvements You Can Make to Your Home
Whether you are ready to spruce up the home you once shared or you are looking to upgrade a brand-new residence, home improvement projects can be a helpful way of moving on with life after divorce.
Home improvements can be as simple as new window dressings or as intricate as designing a new water management plan. Remember to keep your new budget in mind when undertaking any home improvement project.
Spruce Up Your Home’s Landscaping
Something as simple as landscaping may be a way to help you acknowledge that your life, and your home, have changed. Consider hiring a tree company to trim trees, or plant new ones where there were none. Landscaping can be a great way to incorporate your children in moving on with life after divorce. Have them choose a flower, or even a vegetable, and take the time to plant a special garden. Work with your children to nurture and tend to the garden, making it a special project that signifies the life changes you’re going through.
Make Your Kids Feel Special
As difficult as divorce is for you, you know that it will be incredibly difficult for your children. Between navigating two households and dealing with the effects of child custody law agreements, they are going to need your love and support. You might feel tempted to shower them with gifts or treats, but what your children really need to feel special at this time is your attention and support.
One of the most important things you can do when moving on with life after divorce is to make your children feel loved, heard, and special. Avoid fighting with your soon-to-be ex-spouse in front of the children, and make sure you do not speak negatively about their other parent.
You do not want to make your child feel uncomfortable or that they need to choose sides. You just want them to know that you are there for them and love them no matter what. The things you can do to help your child with moving on with life after divorce should be age-appropriate. For young children, there are numerous picture books that can help your child better understand what is happening around them. Older children are able to understand the implications of a divorce, so explaining the process to them might be a helpful way to alleviate some of their fears about all of the changes to come.
While it may not be a way to make your child feel special, it is important to make sure the other adults in their life are aware of the current situation. Teachers, coaches, or doctors should be informed so that they can keep an eye out for any changes in behavior, increased stress, or other signs that your child might need additional support.
Hire a Mental Health Professional
Knowing when to ask for help is important when moving on with life after divorce. Involving a mental health professional can be incredibly helpful not only for you but for your children as well. There are a number of divorce counseling options, from pre-divorce counseling, counseling you through a divorce, and post-divorce counseling.
When it comes to why type of counseling to seek out, that is dependent on your specific situation. An advantage to pre-divorce counseling is that you will be able to discuss your fears and challenges you are facing, giving you a safe space to explore your feelings so that you can face your divorce with clarity and confidence.
Getting counseling during a divorce can be a good way to navigate your feelings. Many divorces take time, and it can be frustrating to feel as though you are in a holding pattern until everything is finalized. A therapist or counselor will help you work through your frustrations and can help you find positive things to focus on at a time when it may seem like there is nothing good to look forward to.
Post-divorce counseling can be an invaluable tool in moving on with life after divorce. You can even include your children and help them navigate their new normal. A mental health professional will be able to provide you and your children with resources and insight that you can make transitioning as a family easier and less painful.
Moving on with life after divorce might seem like an impossibility, but there are ways to help you and your entire family cope with the process. From leaning on family and friends to support to ensuring a healthy financial future, getting your life back and rediscovering parts of you that have been dormant can be exciting and exhilarating. Finding your inner strength and helping your children develop their own set of coping skills can be a great way to set them up for a lifetime of healthy communication.