Most nights you are in bed, and probably asleep, before the kids go to bed. And most nights, that that is okay because your significant other is a night owl. The joke is that you turn into a pumpkin at 10 pm, and that includes weekends.
With my night owl out of town, however, you have to stay awake until the kids all go to sleep. Because the kids know your fondness for sleep, and because you do not trust them to not take advantage of you asleep upstairs, you are spending this Saturday night camping out on the couch where you can see most of the main floor tonight.
Your blended family is a blessing, and you know that had you not taken the difficult step of getting out of a bad marriage a decade ago you would not be where you are today. At the time you started with a representative at the local legal aid for divorce office and finally found the experienced divorce lawyer that you could afford. A lawyer who took the time to understand your individual situation. A dysfunctional family with an abusive husband and tow children. Leaving the security of that situation was not easy, but you know now that you made the right decision. Even if it means you are keeping watch on a couch on the first floor.
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You hope that no one thinks you are complaining about your situation as you tell friends and coworkers about the trials and tribulations of having your husband gone for five weeks. For the most part, your stories are very tongue in cheek. Blending families is tough, and holding down the fort, even for five weeks is a challenge. Bit this is an opportunity to remind yourself just how important this second marriage is and that you are thankful you have found a best friend and partner in life.
When you were young and getting married for the first time you did not realize that union would end with an experienced divorce lawyer helping you navigate some of the worst days in your life. Without that divorce, however, you would not have found the person you were truly meant to be with. You found each other later in life both carrying full sets of baggage. But your husband is not your second chance or your rebound; he’s 100% your upgrade. And I can only speak for yourself, but you completely believe this is where you are supposed to be.
The latest statistics show that a significant number of marriages fail, and while you hated to admit defeat at the time you now know that without that failure you would not be in this business of blending a much better family. Through all the chaos, that your new husband loves, you have learned to appreciate that the noise means your family is connecting. Through job changes and financial ups and downs, you have found peace that he is your constant and you are his. Through the challenges and joys of parenting kids who are not biologically yours, you have found just how far a heart can stretch.
A recent study indicated that the median age for marriage in the 1950s was 23 for men and 20 for women, but that in 2004, it rose to 27 for men and 26 for women. If you could talk to your younger self you would suggest waiting longer before that first marriage. At the time, you did not really know yourself yet, and you were swayed by the fact that a handsome young man paid attention to you. Family law issues and custody battles are not easy, and you are forever grateful for the children from your first marriage. With the right help from the right experienced divorce lawyer at the right time, you walked away from that first situation and were happy to continue with life as a single parent. This second marriage, however, is what you received when you were patient and thoughtful. That experienced divorce lawyer told you at the time that you would find a better life and he was right.